THREE WAYS TO DEAL WITH CONFLICTS – RESOLVING, DISSOLVING, MEDIATING

I have asked my friends, colleagues and clients who follow this program to make a list of all of their significant relationships and then identify in which Zone each relationship exists. You can do the same. If most of your relationships are in the Green Zone, you are one of the fortunate. You can now focus on your painful Yellow and Red Zone relationships that are a source of stress in your life.

I am of the opinion that there are three ways you can deal with Yellow and Red Zone relationships and they are by resolving, dissolving or mediating.

To resolve the conflicts of Yellow and Red Zone relationships both parties need to be willing and able to communicate in the Green Zone. You can talk to them or write a letter inviting them for a heart to heart dialogue.

Sometimes it is fruitful to first write in your diary, putting all your thoughts and feelings on paper before you write the letter to the person concerned. As you write in your diary, you may
realize that you have been harboring anger and resentment for your dear ones. After identifying
your feelings you are often more able to make a genuine attempt to improve the relationship.
You can then write a letter to your dear one and suggest a face-to-face meeting or a response to
your letter.

Remember Green Zone dialogue only takes place if both parties are in the Green Zone so that a genuine attempt to resolve your issues is likely to happen.

If the other person is not willing to resolve the conflicts and create a Green Zone relationship, then you may come to the decision that you need to resolve painful aspects of the relationship or even dissolve the relationship completely. With some personal soul searching you might be able to come to the conclusion that it is best to say goodbye to unhealthy relationships and put your mind at ease and not unnecessarily waste your positive energy in negative relationships.

If you cannot resolve the painful conflicts or dissolve the unhealthy relationships on your own you might request a mediator, either a friend or a therapist to help you. In our clinical practice we have helped dozens of couples resolve their conflicts and save their marriages and friendships.